The Angry Video Game Nerd Ain't 4Kids!
by YolkaEd
Summary: Alright, 4Kids tries to take over One Piece again, but this time, the Straw-Hats recieve special aid! However, will this "aid" lead to the saving, or the destruction of One Piece, especially when the Power Glove's involved? Rated M for language!
1. When Reviewing is Not Enough

**The Angry Video Game Nerd Ain't 4Kids!**

"Alright, I'm doing things a little differently this time around. Before I actually get to review any shitty games, I have to explain the concept of the show the games are based off! And really, I shouldn't subject myself to do these kinds of goddamn things, because I heard that there's an informative source you can find on the Internet, so really, what's the point?

Anyway, the show the games I'm about to review are based off is called One Piece, a Japanese cartoon, or anime as it's called over there, based around a bunch of pirates. You know, I find that to be a little sketchy; pirates had next to no business in Japan, so why make a show about something they've probably never heard off?! But, that's beside the point.

The main character is called Monkey D. Luffy, a 17-year old boy who eats a mystical fruit which gives him rubber powers, at the cost of his swimming abilities. He is hell-bent on becoming the next Pirate King and finding the former King's treasure, called One Piece. Since when did pirates have kings, anyway? That's like there being a Ninja Emperor, or a Zombie President!

His pirate crew is one of the most randomly put-together characters into one crew. There's a green-haired swordsman who fights with three swords, some annoying bitch who's the navigator, a cowardly dick-face (almost literally) who fights with toys like slingshots, some perverted chef with only one visible eye, a human racoon which is also a doctor, one of the only hot archaeologists in the world, a cola-driven cyborg and a skeleton with an afro. Man, is the author high or something when he figures out new crewmembers?!

So, yeah, unless you're a fan of the show, you're going to get pretty damn confused when you try to follow this shit, and to be honest, I only got into the show to understand what the hell the games were about! But, to be fair, even with its confusing moments, One Piece is a damn good show, and if you haven't seen it, then go check it out. It's a perfect way to teach moral lessons to kids without having to bother explaining a lot to them, and it's pretty entertaining too.

However, I'm the Angry Fucking Video Game Nerd, not the Modestly Irritated Otaku, so let's cut to the chase: The games. Now, most games based off One Piece are only released in Japan, so it's pretty damn hard to get anything without having to import anything, and also, I'd have to modify my consoles so they can take the Japanese format. However, a small number of games have actually made it to the States, so I managed to get my hands on some. So, let's start out with One Piece for the GBA."

The Nerd looked at the box with the game it, before he inserted the game into his black DS Lite. "Alright, so the game has you playing solely as Luffy, who you control through six of the story's arcs, all taking place in the East Blue, the place where Luffy lived for most of his life. Each arc has three stages you have to fulfil, two stages where you just have to get to the end, and one main boss stage, where you battle the main antagonist of that arc. It's basically an adventure game with a few beat-em-up elements added to it, like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the NES. That's a good sign.

Now, first of all, why isn't there any music from the actual show in this game? I know that the music in the Japanese version differs from the music in the States, but the music in this game doesn't sound anything like any of them! It's just some stereotypical tropical music set to Luffy wading through a pirate ship, beating the shit out of goons! That's fitting, right?!

Anyway, you might want to know the basic controls. Well, they're okay: A jumps and B is the basic attack button. You can tap it rapidly to do a machinegun-like barrage of punches, or hold it in conjunction with the D-pad to do special combos. Now, let's discuss the special moves: Pressing the A and B buttons at the same time allows Luffy to do one of his more powerful moves, Gum Gum Bazooka. If you press up on the D-pad while pressing the buttons, he uses a different move called Gum Gum Axe. The R button let's Luffy shoot his hand forward, and if he catches any pole of some kind, he'll grab on.

Now, one of the major complaints I have about this game is this: THE GODDAMN ENEMIES RE-SPAWN EVERY FUCKING TIME YOU EXIT THE SCREEN! Now, unlike some games where enemies drop health or ammunition that your character can use, these don't drop jack shit! So what's the point of having the enemies re-spawn if all they do is contribute to your final score?! And if you get the items, leave the screen and re-enter it, they don't come back! Only the useless items come back, like the bomb! Why do I need a bomb when I'm in desperate need of energy?! At least in TMNT for the NES, when you grab a pizza, leave the area and re-enter it, the pizza returns for you to eat! I should've probably mentioned that in my review of it…

Now, I should have mentioned this earlier, but every time you complete a stage, the game counts have many enemies you killed, and then it gives you a sum of cash to be added to your pirate bounty based on how many bad guys you killed of each kind. Now I know that this helps you get some special moves, but later on, you get nothing for having like, three hundred million berries, which apparently is the currency they use in this show. So, honestly, what's the point of enemy re-spawning?!"

At that moment, when the Nerd was trying to jump on a ledge, he was shot down; losing the little energy he had left, costing him a life. "Fuck! I lost a life!" Later, on that same screen, he actually found a box containing some health. "Oh, thanks a lot. THANKS A FUCKING LOT! This game has some of the worst lay-outs in gaming history! There's spike traps where you least expect it, and enemies just come running at you when you're cancelling an attack!

Now, before I move on, I'd like to introduce your partners. Yeah, you can call upon aid from Moss-head, Whiny Bitch, Dick-Face and Chef-Fucker. I'm just going to call them that for this game, because I don't feel like using their original names, those being Zoro, Nami, Usopp and Sanji. To use your comrades, you use the L button to switch between crewmembers. But, instead of actually controlling them, you simply switch out special moves! What kind of fucking sense does that make?! What if I actually wanted to cut someone to pieces with three swords?! I don't just want to watch that happen, I want to DO that!

Anyway, Moss-head's attacks are Demon Strike, where he chops his enemies to pieces with an X-slash, and Dragon Coil, where he creates a small tornado by whirling his swords around, which makes him the ideal powerhouse. Whiny Bitch can either steal shit from your enemies, or bring down a bolt of lightning, which hits every enemy in the area. Not bad, but not good either. Now Dick-Face brings the shitty-ness to a whole new level of suckage! All he does is shooting eggs and explosives at his enemies, but that doesn't help me squat! Now Chef-Fucker is by far the most useful of the lot, not because of his kicking combo, but because of his deliverance of a chicken which replenishes all of your life!

So, let's talk about the bosses. The only thing unique about most of them is their design. There's this fat, ugly broad who does nothing but swing her mace around like a retard, this gay guy who makes a bunch of goons fight for him before you actually kick his ass, some rabbit-man who controls a lion, a hypnotist who can't help being hypnotized by himself and a whole bunch of random characters.

Now, we'll mainly discuss the main bosses, because they are the most interesting. There's a man with an axe in place of his right hand, earning him the nickname of Axe-Hand Morgan. Most of the time, he's invincible, so you have to wait until he's attacked you. Only then can you actually strike him. It doesn't make any logical fucking sense. There's another guy called Buggy the Clown, some weird clown who can split himself into pieces at will. He totally beats the shit out of Pennywise and that clown from Poltergeist in scary fucking clowns. It's literally impossible to hit the guy without waiting for him to attack, and even then, you have to attack his face to make sure you hit the guy! That means that you can only use the flying kick, which is one of the weakest attacks in the whole fucking game! Why make this guy so damn cheesy?!

There's also this butler guy called Kuro, who got these gloves with five incredibly long swords on each one. That being said, this guy has no idea on how to fuckin' walk! Probably because he teleports via his super-speed, but isn't it a pain in the ass to be limited to teleportation instead of just walking?! Poor guy, I kinda feel sorry for thrashing him. Anyway, next up is Pirate Admiral Don Krieg, the biggest coward this side of Dick-Face. He makes you walk through a hazardous environment while he shoots bombs and shit at you, until you finally reach him, so you can kick his ass for forcing you to go through all that shit!

Now, next up is a Fishman. Yeah, we're talking about Fishmen. His name is Arlong, and he's pissed! Unlike the other bosses, this guy got TWO health bars, so he's going to be tougher than most of 'em. Now you don't want to fuck with this guy, he'll bite you to pieces with three sets of teeth at a time, or skewer you in an instant with his nose. And just when you clipped away three fourths of his life, he gets this giant saw blade, and chases you all the way up to the roof! And did I forget to mention that if you come close to the bottom of the screen when you're ascending, you're dead? What fucking sense does THAT make?! Luffy's able to fight toe-to-toe with a Fishman, but he can't fucking survive a small fall like that?! Especially considering that he's MADE OUT OF FUCKING RUBBER! But, eventually, you beat the guy.

Now, we only got one more arc to worry about. However, the two final stages are simply the mother of all motherfucking hard stages. The first is pretty straight-forward: You figure out several puzzles to open different doors in order to advance further, and if you take a certain path, you'll end up fighting the fat broad, who's now become thin and pretty damn hot, and Buggy again. However, it's basically the same goddamn boss fights over again, except that the chick has the ability to slide on these slide things before she rams you with her mace, and Buggy can now transform into a small car. Now, I have one question: WHY IN THE HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKING SHIT DO YOU HAVE TO FIGHT BUGGY AGAIN?! He, along with Arlong and the final boss, are basically the cheesiest bosses in the history of video game bosses, and now you have to fight him a second time?! Now, I know that they're basically doing this because it fits with the story, but if you had problems with Buggy before, you'll be pretty damn frustrated.

Anyway, let's talk about the worst part of this game: The final two stages. Stage two of the sixth arc has the screen scrolling towards you, and if you get in contact with the edge of the left side of the screen, you're done for. I just hate it when the game I'm playing does this kind of thing without any way to stop it unless I get to the next screen! And just for shits and giggles, the game programmers just decided to make this stage full of impossibly difficult jumps and floating platforms. Well, they wouldn't be so damn impossible if THE FUCKING SCREEN WOULD STOP TRYING TO KILL ME! Luckily, there's a bug in the game that you can exploit. Here's what you do: Hold down the down button on the D-pad, and at the same time, hold down the B button. Luffy will charge his Gum Gum Pistol, and if he comes in contact with the screen of death, he won't die! The screen will just push him forward until you let go of the B button, and when you do, you have a chance of getting as far away from the screen as possible. Of course, this doesn't prevent you from being squashed between walls, so learn to time the bug when you need it.

Now, if you're lucky enough to get through the goddamn stage, you'd expect to be able to just move on to fight the final boss, but guess what?! YOU HAVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING MINIBOSS! Now, even though the boss is pretty easy, you'd think that battling your way through that hellhole of diarrhea buffalo shit counts as a boss battle in itself! WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY FUCKING THINKING?!

Now, we only got one more stage to complete, and let me tell you, this is going to be hard. The boss is called Smoker, or "Chaser" as the game implies, and like Buggy, the broad and Luffy, he has eaten the Devil Fruit, but he has the ability to turn himself into smoke. Now, this guy justifies the term "impossibly cheesy", not only with his powers of smoke, but also with his THREE units of health! And yes, I'm not making this up: This guy has THREE FUCKING HEALTH BARS! I'm serious too; DEAD FUCKING SERIOUS!

But, eventually, you manage to beat him, and you'd think that you're set to see the ending to this game? Well, guess again: Getting his ass handed to him, Smoker still won't let you escape his clutches, and you have to run all the way to your ship whilst avoiding being caught by him, and only then can you see the ending, which features simply the Straw-Hat pirates, that being Luffy, Moss-Head, Whiny Bitch, Dick-Face and Chef-Fucker smashing a barrel of beer to celebrate their entry into the Grand Line, the most dangerous ocean in the world. To be honest, I'd rather buy the manga volume or watch the anime episode where they actually enter the sea, because frankly, the ending to this game isn't quite as heartfelt as the actual scene from the show."

The Nerd finally took the GBA cartridge out of his DS and placed it on a table. "So, there you have it," he began, "that was One Piece for the GBA. Like M.C. Kids, it's not the worst game out there, but it still deserved a review. Now, maybe the two-dimensional adventure genre isn't what One Piece should focus on, but rather beat-em-ups or fighting games, like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles went on to. Speaking of fighting games, did you know that the GBA game was supposed to be a port of the Japanese-only fighting game "One Piece Grand Battle: Swan Colosseum"? Apparently, the reason why they didn't port it was that the dubbing company in charge of One Piece at the time, 4Kids, hadn't gotten to the point in the anime where most of the game's action took place."

The Nerd picked up the cartridge again, and shook his head in disbelief. "Have you ever heard such a lame-ass excuse for not releasing a game in the States?! That's like if there was a batch of new Yu-Gi-Oh cards had been released in Japan, only for America to fucking decline the cards entry here because the Yu-Gi-Oh show hadn't shown them being used! It's ass! Who the fuck thought that would be a good idea?! And just to tease us, they never actually ported it as a sequel to this game, even after 4Kids had fucking shown the episodes here! Why couldn't they do that?!" To show his rage, he flung the cartridge in the wall in anger.

"So, maybe you'll think that since it's just a hand-held game, it's not that much to whine about. You think? Well, just to give you another example, I'll show you the PS2 game One Piece: Grand Battle." Sighing, the Nerd placed the CD in his PS2. "Now, again, we're facing a port, this time of the Japanese fighting game "One Piece Grand Battle Rush", the fourth instalment in the Grand Battle series. And I'd wish I could play the Japanese version instead, because this is simply ass.

In the Japanese version, they have the first opening song in the anime set to some newly animated scenes which gave you a good impression that this was a good game. Now in the American version, the opening is just the goddamn theme song used in the American dub set to the exact same opening sequence they used in the fucking dub! Couldn't they just have dubbed the other song instead of having to resort to such laziness?! It's fucking ridiculous!

Now, the biggest insult of all is that it was released AT THE EXACT SAME TIME AS THE GBA GAME! So, you'd probably think that they'd cut out anything that wasn't in the East Blue? Well, actually no! They actually had content that they hadn't aired in America at the time, thus confusing us even further! Who's that guy with sand powers and the hook?! I haven't seen him in the show! And what's with the racoon?! WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY AIR THAT KIND OF CONTENT ON THE CONSOLE GAME, IF THE HANDHELD GAME HAD TO SUFFER FROM NOT BEING PORTED?!

Now, you may think that the console game was left untouched, but NO! They had to cut out lots of content because the Japanese version had content that only Japan had access to at the time! That meant that FOUR CHARACTERS were cut out, and they were the most interesting! That means that the lightning god Eneru, the marine admiral Aokiji, the cunning pirate Foxy, and Luffy with an afro were all cut out! I don't know why, but in One Piece, if you have an afro, you're the fucking man, like you're a kid twenty years ago with a subscription to Nintendo Power.

Anyway, it's not much I can say about the game, as it's a pretty decent fighting game, if not for the needless edits. However, many fans of the series found this port to be flat out horrible because of the cuts, and demanded that the game would be released in its entirety. However, in its place, we received One Piece: Grand Adventure, another fighting game released only in America and Europe. Again, not much can be said, except that 4Kids learnt their lessons and actually brought in some characters they had neglected to show so far in their dub, like Eneru and his most powerful priest, Ohm. Also included was an adventure mode and two extra characters, Red-Leg Zeff and Kuina, basically clones of Sanji and Tashigi, respectively. However, apart from that, it's naught but an expansion pack to Grand Battle, if I can use that word.

Well, we only got one game left to worry about, that being One Piece: Pirates Carnival. It's a party game, like Mario Party and Sonic Shuffle, but really, nothing interesting. However, something noteworthy must be said: Like Grand Adventure, they had the fucking decency to again use characters that weren't in the dub at that point, even some they had neglected to allow existence in the first place! Still, edits were made, such as the removal of anything after Skypiea, the arc where we meet Eneru. So, that's all I have to say."

The Nerd took out the CD of Pirates Carnival out of his PS2, exhausted from learning about the massiveness of the series as a whole (and believe me, you'd fucking be tired too unless you're a fan beforehand). "Well, to be honest, aside from the GBA game's annoying points, these games were okay, but it's really the censorship that fucking fucks the games up in the first place. Really, I dislike having to see that such a good series be repressed of its true meaning just for cash-ins, sort of like how video game developers fuck quality of movie-based videogames in order to release them when the hype is at its peak. And just to let it be said," he began, as he held the covers of the games in his hand, "this is all of the games ever released in North America, with the exception of the Wii game Unlimited Adventure, which I have had difficulties finding anywhere, which is sad, because reviewing it would be a fitting finale to this rant.

So, yeah, it's not the game designers fault (mostly), but rather the distributor 4Kids. Luckily, 4Kids have stopped production of their dub, which means that the video games won't be under their licensing anymore. Instead, Funimation is going to be responsible for the games, Unlimited Adventure being the first game released here under them. Who knows, maybe we'll see a DS port of Swan Colosseum under their hand."

The Nerd sat down in his sofa, and opened a bottle of Rolling Rock, unsatisfied with his rant. "You know, something's definitely missing. It feels kind of wrong to end with only having said this and not being able to end it with a final review, especially since I don't even feel like I've vented half as much as I normally do every other fucking time. If only there was some way I could vent my anger at the horrid censorship found in these games…" Sighing, the Nerd was about to take a swag of cold beer, when suddenly a loud noise coming from his game collection made him startle. "What the fuck?!" he yelled, as he jumped out of the sofa and ran to see what happened.

Strangely enough, most of the games had been flipped down on the floor, leaving a mess bigger than… Well, it was a mess! "Aw, shit," the Nerd aggressively began, "I spent three fucking days trying to arrange all this shit! What the fucking shit did this?!" At that very moment, another sound made him turn 180 degrees to the left, where he saw a giant vortex on his wall. "Okay, either I'm insane, or I'm on drugs, and I'm definitely sure that I'm not on drugs." the Nerd said, as he dropped his bottle of beer in complete shock. At that moment, a huge hand attached to a chain shot out of the vortex, grabbed the Nerd by his stomach, and dragged him into it. Time seemed to stop, and the Nerd's right hand started acting like it had a seizure. Then, only moments later, the Nerd crashed down on a wooden floor.

"Hey, Franky, are you sure that this is the correct person?" someone said, but the Nerd was too exhausted to open his eyes to find out.

"I don't know, Brook," another voice, possibly this "Franky" person, replied, "he seems a bit scrawny, if ya ask me." At that moment, the Nerd stood up, and came face to face with his two guests: A man with a metallic nose, a Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses, a pair of speedo's and blue, Elvis-like hair, together with a skeleton dressed in formal attire, wielding a purple cane and sporting an afro on his head.

"Wait… what the fuck?! You two are from One Piece! You're that cyborg that's fuelled by cola, and you're that living skeleton! What the fucking shit?! Have I been smoking crack up my asshole in my sleep, or am I dreaming?!" the Nerd yelled off the top of his lungs, startling both Franky and Brook.

"Yohohohoho, he sure has a foul language! It reminds me of a sailor I encountered fifty-five years ago…" Brook began, but he was cut off by Franky, who pointed towards the Nerd's right hand.

"Yo, bro, what's that thing you got on your hand?" he asked, directing the Nerd's attention to his right hand. And to the Nerd's horror, he found that on his right hand, there was a Power Glove strapped on to it, with a small letter attached to it, reading: "Fight injustice, and conquer your enemies with power!"

At that moment, all across the Grand Line, the sea in which the Nerd found himself in, a horrible cry of anguish, anger and frustration shook the foundations of the world: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKK!!"

--

_Thanks for reading! I want to thank Charles Xavier for starting the idea of AVGN fanfiction, and I'd also like to thank James Rolfe, the creator of AVGN, for giving people a good reason to stay away from shitty games. Also thanks to his buddies at ScrewAttack__ for hosting him in the first place. Kudos to all of you!_


	2. Explanations, Power and Beer: Ninja Kid

"How the ass did this happen?!" the Nerd yelled in aggression, as he desperately tried to remove the Power Glove on his hand, but it felt like it had merged with his hand. "Alright, I get it, it's bad, but if this is some kind of sick joke, IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY!!" he added, as he nearly flung it off his hand, or at least, that was what he wanted it to.

Brook and Franky, shaking their heads, could only watch the Nerd try to remove the glove, obviously uncaring that the vortex that led him here in the first place had long since closed. "Yohoho, he really is foulmouthed." Brook said, as he sat down with a cup of tea.

"And what the fuck happened to the straps?! Usually, you strap it on your hand, but on this thing, there's nothing! The damn thing's stuck on my fucking hand!" the Nerd added, almost forgetting that he was in somebody else's company. At long last, Franky sighed, and yanked the Nerd's right hand, trying to drag it off. "Hey, stop that! That fucking hurts, damnit!" the Nerd said, as unlike what one would think, the glove didn't slip off, no matter how hard Franky pulled it.

"Strange… It's like it's glued on your hand with superglue. I can't remove it, bro." Franky said after some struggling, much to the Nerd's dismay. "Now, I want to ask ya something: Are you called the Angry Video Game Nerd, by any chance?" he asked, as he sat down on a crate, opening a bottle of cola in the process.

"Damn straight." The Nerd replied. "And they call me so for a fucking reason, you know. Now, please, explain to me how the flying fuck I got on… WHEREVER THE HELL AM I, BY THE WAY?!" he yelled in aggression, as he pointed a finger at Franky.

"Well, bro, you're onboard the Thousand Sunny, the newest ship belonging to the Straw-Hat pirates, built by yours truly…" Franky did an artistic pause, before he quickly got up, and did his trademark pose, slamming his fists together, letting his forearms form a blue star out of the tattoos he had on them. "FRANKY!" From out of nowhere, fireworks exploded behind him, followed by a clapping Brook.

"Well, that's fine and all," the Nerd said, "but just one question: DOES THAT FUCKING MEAN THAT I'M IN THE ONE PIECE WORLD, OF ALL FUCKING PLACES TO BE IN?!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, toppling Franky over like he was a sheet of paper.

As Franky got up, he shook his head. "Bro, you need to chill. Secondly, maybe you should know what's happening over here, so you won't be too confused." he said as he cracked his neck. However, his reply didn't fall in the taste of the Nerd.

"_Too confused?! I'm already fucking lost enough as it is! Don't make this harder for myself!" _he thought, as he forgot the glove on his hand for a while.

"So, you probably know who 4Kids are, right?" Franky asked. Remembering what he had been ranting on just moments beforehand, the Nerd nodded affirmatively. "Good. Now, for some unexplainable reason, they've managed to enter our world, and seek to lay our world under their control. To do this, they brainwashed the villains and kidnapped most of the crewmembers of our crew, leaving only me and Brook here." Brook nodded, proving that Franky wasn't lying, although the Nerd was still sceptical.

"Just then," Brook began,"we were surprised with the entrance of an old man, who told us that our saviour would be a man wearing, and I quote, "_a nerdy shirt, and a pocket pouch, although no one's seen him write anything down._" Also, he would be profane and skilled in the arts of "video gaming", whatever that is. Anyway, he opened up a vortex on the wall, and told us that our saviour would be in there. So, Franky shot his arm in there, and when he pulled it out, you came out!"

The Nerd scratched his head. "An old guy opening a portal on your wall? Doesn't that seem a little weird?" he asked, but this only made Brook and Franky laugh.

"Bro, we're on the Grand Line! If anything weird happens, it's probably the Devil Fruit's doing!" Franky said, clapping his hand on the Nerd's back, knocking the air out of him.

"Alright…" the Nerd said after recovering from Franky's blow, "so, what exactly did he mean by "saviour"? Probably nothing to do with me kicking the living shit out of whoever is in charge of fucking things up around here!" the Nerd said, while starting to laugh a little weakly. However, Franky and Brook looked at him with dead fucking serious looks, causing the Ned to realize what you've all probably guessed by now. "Oh my god, I'm actually supposed to kick the living shit out of whoever is in charge of fucking things up around here?!" Both of them nodded. "Well, isn't that a fucking pain in the ass for all of us then?! Look, I can't help ya with any problems of THAT kind! I'm not that kind of saviour!" he said in frustration, starting to pace around the room.

"But you have too!" Brook said, as he slammed his bony hands on the table. "If not, then 4Kids will censor anything that they find unfitting, most definitely me! I mean, they don't want anything with death in their dubs, and I'm living bones! So they're going to rewrite my character to the point that I only wear a skeleton costume and- Hey, are you listening?"

The Nerd didn't listen. He remembered what he had said about censorship fucking up the games about 4Kids, and if the games he played were an indication of what censorship could do to good games, he wouldn't dare to see the day they got full access to the series entirety, so they could screw it all over with a monkey wrench. Besides, he DID say that the ending to his rant left him unsatisfied… "Alright, I'll do my best, but I won't make any fucking promises. Got that?" he finally said, looking pretty damn serious.

"Alright, bro!" Franky yelled in joy, as he jumped energetically in the air. "Now, the old guy mentioned something about an instruction manual coming with the saviour, but I don't know what that's about…"

The Nerd, however, had a clue. Attached to the Power Glove, there was a note (different from the letter in the last chapter), but he had been too busy trying to get it off his hand to notice the note. Removing it from the glove, he started reading it: "Dear Nerd, you have received a weapon of massive destructive powers. To utilize its power, use the number meter. To utilize its creation, use the letter meter. To switch between metres, use the red button. Use Creation mode to cure brainwashes, and to create weapons. Use Power Mode to use psychokinesis and massive strength. Remember, to win the Game, you must play with Power."

The Nerd threw the note away in frustration. "What fucking sense does THAT make?!" However, he did notice a red button next to the numbers that he usually used to calibrate the glove for the games he was about to play with it. He pressed the button, and suddenly, the numbers were replaced with letters in the alphabet.

"Woah, that's kinda freaky, bro." Franky said as he observed the numerical change on the glove. The Nerd was also flabbergasted at this.

"So, if that's true…" The Nerd decided to write something down on his glove, so he pressed various letters until the screen formed the words "Rolling Rock". Suddenly, a flash occurred, and when the trio could see again, the Nerd was holding a bottle of Rolling Rock in his hand. "Woah! So, I can make anything appear with this glove?!" the Nerd shouted in astonishment.

Thinking a little bit, the Nerd pressed in some more letters, now forming "NES". Suddenly, a Nintendo Entertainment System did in fact appear in his hand, much to the surprise of both Brook and Franky. "Yohohoho! What's that contraption?" Brook said, as he observed the grey console.

"It's a Nintendo console. You've never heard of a Nintendo before?" the Nerd asked, with both Brook and Franky shaking their heads. The Nerd tapped the edge of his chin with his left index finger, and snapped his fingers soon afterwards. "Alright, I'll show you what a Nintendo is. Hey, you got a TV here?"

--

Soon, even though there wasn't a TV on the ship, the Nerd got the NES up and running on a TV he got from using the Power Glove (he got electricity from using some of Usopp's Dials). Franky and Brook watched in amazement. "Okay, pay attention, because I'm about to release a wave of nostalgia at you two, okay?" The duo nodded, as they kept watching the Nerd, who had created a cartridge which he inserted into the NES. Then, the Nerd pressed the power button on the NES, and the screen flashed, and revealed the mother of video games: Super Mario Brothers. Franky and Brook gasped in awe.

"So, this is a video game. The graphics may be outdated to some, but to me, graphics doesn't make a video game. What makes a video game is that it's fucking good, and that you can have fun playing it." the Nerd said, as he advanced through Level 1-1, smashing Goombas and collecting coins.

"But tell me, Mr. Nerd," Brook asked, "who are you controlling, and why are you smashing turtles and brown mushrooms, while at the same time grabbing coins from blocks?" The Nerd paused the game, and placed his middle and index fingers on his forehead.

"Let's see… how did it go again… Oh yeah! You control a plumber called Mario, who one day finds himself in the Mushroom Kingdom, and he has to save the princess of the kingdom from the evil overlord, King Bowser Koopa. His minions consist of the brown mushrooms, called Goombas, traitors to the throne, and the Koopa Troopas, Bowser's loyal minions. You can power yourself up with mushrooms," at this point, he collected a mushroom, which made Mario grow taller, "flowers," now he collected a Fire Flower, which allowed Mario to shoot fireballs, "and stars." Finally, the Nerd got a Super Star, making Mario invincible for a short period of time.

"Ah, I see, we're dealing with royal issues! But, shouldn't we let the Guard of the King handle this matter themselves?" Brook asked, as the Nerd passed on to Level 1-2.

"Well, if you think that a bunch of mushroom-humans can defeat a fire-breathing egomaniacal fuck of a turtle, then sure, why not?" the Nerd said casually, confusing Brook even further.

"In all my years as a skeleton, I have never heard of kingdoms where mushrooms are able to walk, or where their flowers allow you to shoot fire. Truly, this is even stranger than the Grand Line itself!" Brook said with deep thought and wonder.

Both Franky and Brook didn't say anything as they observed the Nerd play his way easily through Level 1-2 and 1-3, still being Fire Mario without getting hit once. Finally, he got to Level 1-4, where, after he had gotten through the level, the duo first set their eyes upon a 8-Bit rendition of Bowser, which, needless to say, frightened Brook down to his bones… even though he's just bones beforehand! "Yohohohoho! Skull Joke!"

"Woah, is that the Bowser dude you were talking about, Nerd?" Franky asked, as he saw that the Nerd was focusing on avoiding the fire jets Bowser shot out, while shooting the living shit out of him with fireballs. However, one stream of fire got to him, and he returned to Normal Mario.

"Damnit! I guess I have to do it the basic way…" the Nerd finally said, as he ran under Bowser as he jumped, before he jumped onto an axe, which caused the bridge Bowser stood on to crumble, forcing the turtle into the boiling lava underneath.

"Way to go, bro! You saved the princess!" Franky yelled, however, he wasn't prepared to see the small mushroom retainer, along with the infamous white text on the screen: "THANK YOU MARIO, BUT OUR PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE!"

"Yep, that's right, Franky, that wasn't the right Bowser at all. Fucking sucks, doesn't it? You have to fight your way through eight levels of the same kind, defeating eight sets of Bowser's, until you finally save the princess." The Nerd said, as he shut the console off, and ejected the game cartridge.

"But, how can there possibly be more Bowser's than one?!" Brook said with tensed worry covering his non-existent tongue.

"Well," the Nerd said, "seven of the Bowser's are actually decoys, and you only find that out if you kill the end boss with fireballs. Well, now you know what a basic video game is. Now, I guess I could explain what the hell I do for a living." Franky and Brook looked at the Nerd with anticipation. "You see, while some games, like this one, are timeless classics, like Metroid, Mega Man and Kirby, other games are just plain old piles of shit! That's my job: To find and review games that suck ass from a straw, so other people won't have to suffer their shittyness like I and many others have during our childhoods."

Franky and Brook nodded, as they knew somehow what the Nerd was talking about: The horrible games he was talking about had, without a doubt, left an everlasting impression on his mind during his past, mirroring the slightly clichéd "tragic past" metaphor the Straw-Hats had going. "Say, Nerd, interested in indulging us in one of these games you're speaking of?"

The Nerd thought for a bit, and tapped some letters on the Power Glove, before another NES cartridge appeared in his hand. "Alright, you want it? You got it: Ninja Kid for the NES." he said, as he popped the game in his console.

"So, the game begins with the title "Ninja Kid". However, this game too suffers from the plague of censorship: The game was originally a video game version of the manga Ge Ge Ge no Kitaro, however, when it was Americanized, all traces of it ever being based off anything was fucking taken away! I can't stress this more than possibly enough: LEAVE THE FUCKING CENSORSHIP ON A RESPECTABLE LEVEL, AND KEEP IT FOR THE SHOW! DON'T LET THE FUCKING GAMES SUFFER FROM THIS!

So, even though this game is censored, that still doesn't disprove the fact that it fucking sucks donkey dick! First off, you're walking on an overhead map screen, kinda like Zelda II, only without the enemies. So, you're walking around, and when you touch one building, you enter a battle phase, again, like Zelda II. On the battle screen, you shoot knives out of your hair in order to kill various enemies, again, like Zelda II! So, is this, like Rambo for the NES, another Zelda II clone?! Well, to answer my own question, actually, no. This game was released in 1986, while Zelda II was released in Japan in 1987, however, Zelda II did sell better than this game, so we're not actually calling Zelda II a Ninja Kid clone, right?

Anyway, the biggest gripe I have about this game is that you die with only one touch. I'm not fucking kidding! One touch from any enemy in the game, and you're dead! Well, at least you have a ranged weapon that flies through the screen to kill these fuckers, but sometimes, the enemies shoot projectiles, and if it touches you, you're as done as brown bread! It fucking sucks and it blows my mind! What the fuck were they fucking thinking?! Would it have killed them to add a health bar?! At least you have three lives, but they don't really help much!

So, the point of the game, I guess, is to destroy the enemy buildings, each with their own stages, including Guerrilla Warfare, which is pretty straight-forward: You kill a certain number of bad guys, and you open two doors, one of them leading to a boss. Another one, Dog Fight, is the same concept, only that you're airborne. Next one, Poison Fields, where you're supposed to collect 10 small spirit things, but the first time playing, how would you know?! You wouldn't! You think that you're supposed to kill the spirits, but no! Could the game at least tell you that you're supposed to collect them?!

So, when you've destroyed each grey building, you go into this big-ass castle, where you fight some boss. However, unlike the ones in the doorways, this is another human being, and a real pushover, I might add. He has no invincibility after you attack him, so if you have a turbo controller, or just mash the B button like crazy, the battle's over before it's even started! How the fuck are people this weak, if they have all these monsters and puzzles that make you go crazy?!"

The Nerd was about done with ranting, and turned the NES off in order to get a break. Brook tapped his chin, and said: "Say, Nerd, wasn't there anything you enjoyed about this game?"

The Nerd looked at Ninja Kid in slight anger for a moment, before turning to Brook. "Well, there is ONE thing I find funny: During the Guerrilla Warfare stage, one of the enemies are actually a Ninja Pirate, for some obscure reason. Why would anybody cross a ninja and a pirate together in the first place, especially since both of them are being discussed to death as of who's the greatest on the internet?!"

Brook nodded, and started drinking some tea. "I see. So, this was one of those, quote on quote, "shitty" games you call them, right? I can see why, even though I have no eyes! Yohohohoho!"

Franky looked at the cartridge, and placed his chin on his right hand's palm, thinking about things. "So, if ya don't like the games, when why do you insist on playing them thoroughly, then?" Franky asked, catching the Nerd's attention.

"Well," the Nerd began, "I could answer anything else, except for WHY. Apart from trying to prove that I'm not actually using some kind of robot, I don't know why. It's not really something I've ever bothered giving two shits about in the first place. Anyway, now you know why I do this, so maybe you could explain to me how the fuck I'm supposed to fight 4Kids with only THIS fucking thing on my hand!" he said, motioning to the Power Glove stuck on his right hand.

"Well…" Franky said, until he seemed to remember something, which resulted in him running up on deck, followed by Brook and the Nerd. As they looked out, they saw an island with a big Marine base planted on top of it. "See that? That's Shell Town, our first stop here on our trip to save our world."

The Nerd looked at the island, and nodded. _"So, all I gotta do is to kick some ass?"_ he thought to himself, as he gulped down a bottle of Rolling Rock. _"Bring it on, bitch."_


	3. On the Brimmer of Soaked Doom: Zoro

The Thousand Sunny set anchor to the island, and the trio jumped on shore to find that the entire town was deserted, except for one small pub. "Woah, isn't this supposed to be a marketplace?" the Nerd said, looking around with a confused look at the surroundings. "My ass sees more lively action than this town!" he added, just to make sure that Brook and Franky got what he was talking about.

The trio walked into the pub, where only one person was standing, cleaning the glasses behind the counter. Franky walked up to the counter, and shook the counterman's shoulder. "Yo, give me a cola!" The counterman complied, and handed Franky a bottle of cola, which Franky began drinking.

Brook followed shortly afterwards, sitting down on a stool. "Excuse, me, Mister, but could you give me a cup of tea? Preferably Earl Grey, with two pieces of sugar, and a small tea spoon to stir it with." The counterman quickly made the cup of tea, just like Brook had ordered. Happily content, Brook stirred his tea with the spoon.

The Nerd also walked up to the counter, and sat down on the stool next to Brook. "Hey, give me a beer, on the double." However, the counterman didn't act at all. "Hey, where's the beer? What's with the customer service around here?"

The counterman only stared at the Nerd. "Beer? What's that? Sorry, but I believe we don't have anything of that sort. Here, have some juice instead!" he said, as he handed the Nerd a glass of juice.

"What… the… FUSS?!" the Nerd suddenly shouted, however, he grasped his throat when he realized that his attempted "fuck" had been replaced with "fuss". "What the hay is going on?!" he shouted, as he, Franky and Brook exited the pub, still flabbergasted over his lack of swearing in there. "I can easily fucking swear OUTSIDE of the building, but not INSIDE! And where the fuck is all the other people in this city?!"

"Yohohoho… Well, we should probably have told you this sooner," Brook began, "but 4Kids edited out the characters without names to make sure they can market their products more efficiently. Also, it's impossible for anyone to swear in vicinity of unimportant characters that 4Kids have purposely left unedited out." He bowed his head in sorrow. "Oh, out-editing is far crueler than facing death." Then he looked up with a happier look on his face. "And I should know, since I'm a skeleton! Yohohohoho! Skull Joke!"

Franky started walking through the streets. "They also edited out anyone not from the Straw-Hats, nor the main villains. That means that the pink-haired buddy of Luffy's gone, Captain Morgan's son is gone, the entire series is almost deserted!" Franky said, as he started cracking his knuckles. "It's only us three who can defeat 4Kids at the moment. However, if we can save the other Straw-Hats, then we'll have a bigger advantage in numbers!"

The Nerd scratched his neck in confusion. "So, we gotta sail to every single damn island in order to defeat all these villains, and hopefully get some Straw-Hats to help our asses in the time of need? That's…" He was about to say that it was bullshit, however, he knew that it had to be done, if he ever wanted to go home to continue playing shitty games.

"You say something?" Franky asked, as he turned around to face the Nerd. The Nerd proceeded to shake his head, satisfying Franky's curiosity. "Well, let's head to the Marine Base. I'm pretty sure we'll find someone there who can help us."

The trio advanced throughout the deserted town, and the Nerd could see just how fucked up things could be when 4Kids was involved. Fruit baskets were full of rotten fruit, the fish was giving away the foulest odour, and there were no people to set anything of this right. He sighed, and continued to follow the cyborg and skeleton towards the Marine Base, where this companion would be able to help them.

After a while, the trio arrived at the gates of the Marine stronghold, but they were quite locked. "Damn! How are we supposed to find this person we're looking for when we can't even cross into the goddamn base?!" the Nerd said, as he gave the gates a small kick. Brook looked over the wall, and jumped over it to see what was on the other side.

"Yohohohohohohoho! He's here! Right over here!" Brook said on the other side of the wall, notifying Franky and the Nerd of Brook's location. Both of them jumped to grab the wall, and heaved themselves over to see what was on the other side. When they saw what Brook had seen, Franky smiled, while the Nerd nearly pissed himself with fear.

What both of them witnessed was a man wearing a black bandana on his head, a white shirt, which also had a green waist-band strapped around it, black pants and matching shoes. The most notable thing about him was that he had green hair, and that he was bound to a T-shaped pole. He also seemed pretty wounded, although his demeaning and threatening presence was still at large.

"So… That's Mo- I mean, Roronoa Zoro?" the Nerd asked Franky, who nodded affirmatively. "I see… He's a fucking beast, right?" he added, as he continued looking at the man hanging from the poles.

"That's ZOLO." a voice suddenly said, scaring the living shit out of the Nerd.

"Wha- Brook, did you say that?!" the Nerd yelled, but was shocked to find that the skeleton shook his head. "Then… who the fuck said it?!" he added.

"I did." the voice said again, and as the Nerd heard it again, he found it to be coming from Zoro.

"You…?" the Nerd said, a little confused.

"My name is Roronoa Zolo, nerd. Now scram, unless you want to have your shirt torn." Zoro said, with the distinct clang of Marc Diraison's voice acting rolling over his tongue.

"Aw, crap!" Franky yelled. "We're too late!"

"What're you fucking talking about now, Franky?" the Nerd asked.

"4Kids have gotten Zoro! Now he's forgotten that his name is Zoro and not Zolo! Ow, what'll we do about this?!" Franky said, beginning to panic slightly.

The Nerd began tapping his chin again as Brook returned to their side of the wall. "Didn't that note say something about…" he said. With that, the Nerd jumped over the wall (much to Franky and Brook's protests), and advanced towards Zoro.

"What are you doing? I told you that I'd rip your shirt apart if you didn't scram, nerd, so scram, already!" Zoro said as the Nerd came closer.

The Nerd looked at the Power Glove, before looking back at Franky. "Hey, what the fuck was the name of the Funimation voice actor for Zoro again?" he yelled, catching Franky's attention.

"His name is Cristopher Sabat! Got that, Nerd?" Franky yelled back, with a nodding Nerd as a response.

The Nerd looked back at the Glove, which was in Creation Mode. Quickly, he typed the name of Zoro Funi- voice actor on the glove. Suddenly, it started glowing with a strong, blue light, and the Nerd had to cover his eyes in order not to get blinded. However, he could feel that his right hand was moving without him wanting it to. Soon, it came into contact with Zoro, and then, everything went white.

When the Nerd could see again, he saw a tremendous change: The T-shaped pole that Zoro was previously hanging from had now been changed into a cross-shape, and Zoro looked more wounded than earlier. "Ugh… What… did you do to me?" Zoro said, although now, his voice had grown deeper and gruffer, like Sabat's voice in the dub.

"Hey, I think he's fixed!" Franky said happily as he jumped over the wall and walked towards Zoro and the Nerd. Brook was about to do the same, when he turned around to take a glance at the town.

"Hey, the marketplace's getting livelier!" Brook said. "Maybe getting rid of Zoro's 4Kids voice was the key to unlocking the out-edited people that lived here?" he added, as he jumped over the wall.

"Franky? Brook? What are you doing here?" Zoro asked as he saw his surroundings, and his current situation. "And who the hell's that guy with the glasses?"

"Look, buddy, I just saved you from 4Shit, so you'd better be fucking grateful. Also, I'm the Angry Video Game Nerd, but you can call me Nerd." The Nerd said, as he tried to remove Zoro's bindings.

"Alright, Nerd, so maybe you could explain what's going- OW! Hey, you're just tightening the bindings, you idiot!" Zoro said, as the Nerd accidentally tightened the knot on Zoro's left arm. "Look, one of you'll have to get into the Marine Base and get my swords! Then I think you owe me an explanation." he added, as he kicked the Nerd a little distance away, making sure that he didn't fall to the ground.

"Yohohoho! I'll fetch those swords, Zoro! Count on my bones!" With that, Brook ran off towards the Marine Base, leaving Zoro, Franky and the Nerd by themselves.

"So, Zoro, you'd probably want to know what's been going on…" Franky said, as he sat down and began explaining to Zoro what had happened…

--

Brook quickly advanced towards the Marine Base's main building, where Captain Morgan had his residence. Brook decided to go in the easy way: By jumping all the way up to the top of the building, and work his way downwards. "I know that I can't jump all the way with only one jump… I need some kind of ledge." Brook said to himself, as he looked at the tall building. That's when he noticed: An open window, right in his jumping range. Deciding to simply jump in the building, he did so with relatively little effort.

However, he wasn't prepared to face the sight he saw: Captain Axe-Hand Morgan, standing in the presence of a cloaked being, who seemed to be pretty frail, despite being around Franky's height. "Huh?! Who are you?!" the cloaked person suddenly said, as he caught a glimpse of Brook, who nearly shit his pants with fear at the evil aura coming from it.

"Ah- Do not mind me! I was just jumping through here on my exercise trip…" Brook attempted to strike a lie, however, unlike Usopp's, his lies went over deaf ears.

"Morgan! Seize the skeleton!" Morgan turned towards Brook, and swung his axe-hand downwards, in order to chop Brook into pieces, but luckily, Brook blocked the incoming blow with his shikomizue, preventing him from being torn.

"I am the captain around here, skeleton! I am in charge! Therefore, you are inferior to me!" Morgan roared, with David Brimmer's voice ringing sound in Brook's rotted ears.

"Yohohoho! I'd love to stay and chat, but I have things to do!" Quickly, Brook threw some salt on Morgan's eyes, preventing the Marine captain from attacking. Taking this opportunity, Brook got the hell out of here.

"For crying out loud, Kahn!" Morgan yelled, as Brook left the room. "You knew he'd show up here! What was the point of editing my servants out of the show?!"

"Relax, Morgan." the man known as Kahn said calmly. "With the restoration of Roronoa Zolo's voice, your loyal servants, with the exception of your son, should be back here right about…" The sound of guns cocking, firing and hitting concrete walls, followed by a high-pitched scream of fear followed. "…now."

Brook ran like crazy through the building, as it was now flooded with Marine soldiers wanting him deader than he already was. "I do not have time for this! I must find Zoro's swords at once before it is too late!" Quickly, Brook ran into a room, where he hid from the Marine's chasing him, as they didn't see him enter it, therefore saving him.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Brook found himself in Helmeppo's room, which was more than deserted. "Well, this has to be the place. I can see Zoro's swords in the corner. But, going the way I came in here in the first place now is out of the question: THOSE MARINES WERE TOO SCARY!" Brook chimed to himself, as he collected Zoro's swords, and looked for a way out. "That window should suffice…"

--

"…and then all of a sudden, Michael Myers fucking pops up out of nowhere! So, I decide to get away from him as humanly fast as possible, when I remember the bag filled with shit that was lying on the floor. Thinking quickly, I slammed it right in that mask-wearing fuck's face!" The Nerd was in the middle of telling Zoro and Franky one of his many endeavours, this one concerning his review of Halloween for the Atari 2600, and his encounter with Myers himself.

"You're kidding, right? Not even Usopp tells THAT far-fetched stories." Zoro remarked, still restrained to the cross.

Franky nodded affirmatively. "Even though you review these lame-ass games, the stories revolving around them seem unrealistic. I mean, what are the odds of a cartoon rabbit jumping in your apartment, for you to kick his ass just because of one game?" he said, noting the Nerd's battle against Bugs Bunny.

"Oh, like you're one to talk, Mr. Cyborg." The Nerd said, as he gulped down some Rolling Rock beer. "Man, what's taking that skeleton so long? Getting three swords doesn't take THAT long."

"Well, at least that damn Axe-Hand and his minions haven't gotten here to execute us all." Zoro said jokingly, as he tried to reach for the Nerd's bottle of beer.

"Halt! Stand your ground, and don't move!"

The Nerd, Franky and Zoro all looked towards the source of the voice, and as it turned out, an entire Marine battalion was pointing their rifles at the trio. "Fucking shit! Where'd these fuckers come from?!" the Nerd exclaimed.

"Well, all the rats have been gathered, save one." At that moment, Axe-Hand Morgan himself stepped forward, standing proudly out amongst the Marines present. "Now, in the great name of 4Kids, I sentence you to be shot by our Super Soakers!"

The Marines blinked in confusion, and looked at their rifles, which obviously weren't Super Soakers at all. "Hey, Axe-Hand bro, that's actual guns you're carrying." Franky pointed out, much to the annoyance of the Marine captain.

"Can't you see that this is Super Soakers?! Men, soak the criminals!" Morgan yelled, much to the confusion of the soldiers, however, they did cock their rifles, and prepared to fire.

"Damnit! Nerd, hurry up and get me down from here!" Zoro said, as he kicked the Nerd in the shin.

"Ow! Alright, no need to fucking nag!" Quickly, the Nerd began working on untying the knots, as Franky readied his own machine gun.

"I'd suggest that you don't try anything: This gun here is loaded, and I don't want to see any Marines dying from this!" Franky said, as he prepared to fire.

One of Morgan's veins popped. "YOU DARE INSULT THE NAVY?! FIRE ALL SOAKERS!" Suddenly, everything went by like a flash. The sound of glass shattering, panicked confusion and a high-pitched scream of fear descending from above filled the previously silent area. Then, Brook came crashing down from up high, creating an enormous dust cloud.

"Do not let a little dust frighten you! Fire all!" At that moment, all rifles were fired from, and the sound of metal bouncing off of metal was heard from the dusty field where the quarter was standing.

As the dust lifted, Morgan was shocked to find that Zoro had been released from his bonds, three swords at hand, and that he, Brook and Franky had deflected every single bullet that had been fired at them. "What's the matter?" Zoro said in a most threatening tone. "Where'd your sudden enthusiasm go?"

"Curses! Navy soldiers, attack them!" The Marines, obviously frightened, had a hard time bringing themselves to grab their swords. "THAT'S AN ORDER BY CAPTAIN AXE-HAND MORGAN!!" At that very moment, every single Marine present jumped at the quarter.

"Yo, Nerd, we'll take care of these grunts! You take care of Axie!" Franky said, as he blew a stream of flames to keep the Marines from approaching.

"WHAT?! Are you fucking shitting me up the ass?! Haven't you noticed that he's got a fucking AXE for a right hand? What am I supposed to use, the Power Glove?!" the Nerd asked quite foully, as Zoro and Brook jumped over the dying flames to fend off the Marines.

"Well, yeah!" Franky replied, as he fired a cannonball from his left hand, leaving the Nerd flabbergasted.

"The fuck…?" the Nerd said to himself, as he looked at the Power Glove. "Creation… and power…" Nodding his head a few times, he pressed the red button, which activated the Glove's Power mode. "Alright, if I must, I must, I guess…" With that, the Nerd ran as fast as he could right at Morgan, and threw a right-hand punch towards the menacing Marine captain, who blocked it with his giant axe.

"You dare attack a captain of the Navy?!" Morgan said, as he threw away his Marine jacket, ready for a battle. "Rank is everything in the world, and you bestow none! Therefore, you shall fall by the might of Navy captain Axe Hand-Morgan!"

"Well, I'm the Angry Fucking Video Game Nerd." the Nerd replied calmly. "Pleased to meet you."

"YOU WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!!" Morgan yelled, as he swung his axe horizontally in an attempt to behead the Nerd, but the Nerd quickly dived under him, causing the attack to fail. Quickly, the Nerd got up behind Morgan, and punched the Marine captain in the back, causing him to flinch for a moment, before he turned around to face the Nerd.

With swiftness, Morgan took a good grip on his axe, and slammed it directly in the ground; although the Nerd easily sidestepped it, he quickly saw that the impact cracked open the ground for a few metres. "DAMN! Talk about steroid abuse!" Taking this opportunity, the Nerd punched Morgan squarely in the face with his gloved hand, knocking the Marine captain down, although he recovered rather quickly.

"You fight well for being so scrawny!" Morgan hollered, as he raised his axe hand again while the Nerd advanced towards him. "NOW DIE, YOU LITTLE PEST!!" he added, as he brought his axe downwards.

However, instead of sidestepping it, the Nerd gracefully rolled under the axe before it made impact, bringing him directly underneath the Marine captain. "How would you like a Shoryuken?!" the Nerd said, as he did a spinning uppercut, hitting the captain's chest with tremendous force, reminiscent of Sagat's downfall at the hands of Ryu. Nonetheless, Morgan fell down.

"Hey, Nerd!"

The sudden call brought the Nerd's attention towards the voice, which turned out to be Kahn, holding a pistol against Brook's head. "Yes, if you value your friend's life, you'd best stop the assault on our world and head home." Despite being held at gunpoint, Brook was seemingly unaffected by this death threat.

Taking his time, the Nerd entered Creation mode, and entered in a few letters, which created a NES Zapper. "I don't think that'll work, fucker. Brook's already dead, so a shot to the head won't actually kill him, since he's just bones." Entering Power mode, the Nerd got ready to shoot at Kahn.

Brook, while normally calm at this situation, suddenly realized what Kahn was planning. "NERD! Look behind you!" As it turned out, without the Nerd knowing, Morgan stood right behind him, axe raised high, ready to split the Nerd in half.

"I am the supreme Navy captain, Axe-Hand Morgan! You should have realized this earlier, nerd!" At that moment, as the Nerd took aim and fired, Morgan brought his axe downwards.

The shot from the Zapper passed Kahn narrowly, cutting him slightly on his cheek, forcing him to release his grip on Brook. However, as it turned out, Morgan's axe, only centimetres from contact with the Nerd's head, didn't make contact. Instead, he fell backwards, having been cut by none other than Zoro, who had realized the danger the Nerd was in.

"Curses! I shall get you yet, Nerd!" Kahn said, as he teleported away. The Nerd placed the Zapper in a holster he had lying in his pocket, while looking behind him to see Zoro putting away his swords.

"Nice going, Zoro! Think you'll do those kinds of things more often?" the Nerd said, as he turned to face the swordsman.

"As long as you don't get in the way of my dream, then sure, maybe I'll do so, Nerd." Zoro said, with a smile on his lips.

--

_And that's the end of the first arc! Now, if you haven't guessed it, I'll have a slight pattern going on: Before an arc begins, the Nerd will review any shitty game together with the Straw-Hats, and here's a gimmicky thing I thought of: While reviewing the story, you can put in suggestions for games the crew can bash, rant about or just plain molest with a shoehorn. So remember, any suggestion could end up being used! __But mostly classic games, okay? Ciao for now!_


End file.
